No matter how broad your understanding of healing is, there is always room to delve deeper. It’s apparent that healing is viewed differently by each individual and each modality and sometimes their views are inconsistent with each other. Nevertheless, the journey of healing is central to its accomplishment. It is a test that one must push thru to reap its benefits. Healing involves a whole body connection that must be nurtured into existence not prematurely thrust upon anyone. A naturopath must find the individualized formula for healing specific to each patient in order for it to be safe and effective.

I define the Vis Medicatrx Naturea as the healing power of nature where all things have an innate point of healthy balance at which they thrive and strive to maintain. When our bodies are away from this point, they move back to this balance on their own. While we can amplify nature’s proclivity for healing, overriding it further disrupts the balance. I can’t extricate the idea of the nature of healing from the Vis. I define healing as a cyclical journey of moving towards positive self image, growth, realization, and an overriding sense of safety in the world which brings you to a state that is free of anxiety in all aspects of your life; including but not limited to social, physical, emotional, and spiritual. The journey is part of everything. Healing is a sense of safety is being free of anxiety. The healing crisis in an amazing phenomenon and journey. This is the situation where your symptoms will aggravate before they will improve. In Seven Herbs: Plants as Teachers Matthew Wood explains that the herb iris is the embodiment of the healing crisis. The healing crisis is a test. People don’t usually want or won’t abide their symptoms getting worse, but this is necessary to get the life force (wesen) back in tune with itself.

People experience healing in different ways. I generally associated “cure” with allopaths and “healing” with the mind-body-spirit connection associated with naturopaths. However, while studying Samuel Hannahman and the aphorisms in the Organon, I got the general feeling that healing was not its focus but that homeopathy focused on cure. Aphorisms 1 and 8 explain that the physician's only mission is to cure the sick so they can get on with the higher functions of their lives, not to speculate about the origin of disease, and that getting rid of symptoms eradicates the disease. This was jarring. I began to think differently about cure and the word itself. Perhaps I was wrong to attribute such a negative connotation to it.

We have to come to terms with all aspects of the naturopathic experience on our own. Several of our professors have different takes on ideology, methodology, and modalities in naturopathic medicine. They also value ideas within the realm of naturopathy to varying degrees. I got the notion that "cure" was an "allopathic thing" that didn't have enough to do with healing from my Health Psychology course. However, in my Homeopathy course I was learning something very different and something that seemed very reductionist (aphorisms previously mentioned). This realization has forced me to think that some people heal with methods or intentions we initially find to be destructive or at least inadequate. All coping mechanisms are employed because they serve a useful purpose. This is even true of pathological coping mechanisms. For me, healing and freedom from anxiety are closely linked. I tend to experience anxiety often and though it serves a useful purpose on a regular basis, it has also caused undo worry and stress effecting my life and relationships. Finding a way to get rid of negative anxiety in life would lead to increased healing for me. The difference between positive and negative anxiety and the difference between positive stressors (eustressors) and negative stressors (distressors) is useful purpose.

Healing is a transfer of energy and intention that can not be forced. Energy is transferred in tangible and intangible ways. Tangible examples include rhythm and vibrations of sound or touch. A less tangible example is how water can be used to heal inflammation (Father Kneipp) by holding a remembrance of purity and reminding our tissue cells of it. Healing involves recognizing a lesson. It is purposeful and must be the result of an expanded understanding. If we imposed healing on another we do them a disservice. In order for healing to occur, one must hold a space for healing within themselves. The better you know yourself the better primed you will be to accept healing. You can not push another into healing. You can only meet them where they are at. Failing to do so may harm the therapeutic relationship. Healing means different things to different people, but it must encompass whatever it needs in order to accomplish the healing of the individual.

It is generally held that the healing process encompasses all aspects of one’s life including spirit, emotion, society, and biology. All things are possible, and it's very possible we will encounter ones that do not see relevance for healing on one or more of these levels. Perhaps they see no need for spiritual healing or spirituality. How do you help them heal (for example) a physical ailment without that spiritual component? This is where I hope to widen my understanding of the nature of healing in the future. I am excited to find where my understanding will take me. How rigid will I hold my boundaries and what prejudices will influence them? How will others deal with my liberal views of healing when theirs are more conservative? How will this effect the therapeutic relationship? I'm currently developing these answers.

I realize that my understanding of healing is far from being as board as it eventually needs to be. Healing is different than cure but that doesn't mean cure is pejorative. It requires an exchange of energy that need not be forced. Healing is most effective if the person is not resistant to its process. There continue to be many questions to answer in regards to the nature of healing. However, every person especially every practicing naturopath must develop their own individualized ideology.

In Ontario, Naturopathic Doctors (ND) have taken a big step in promoting primary healthcare. The Provincial government has granted prescribing rights to naturopaths in Ontario (Bill 179)! Since the 1920s NDs have had the privilege to be self regulated under the Drugless Practitioners Act. However, as time goes on, more and more Provinces and States (south of the boarder) are being granted prescribing rights. Therefore, it has become obvious that NDs must move to a new model. NDs will be joining several other health care practitioners in Ontario under the Regulated Healthcare Practitioners Act (RHPA). Other healthcare providers in the RHPA have a regulating body called a college and currently one is being developed for NDs. This is being done by the Transitional Committee and soon a College of Naturopaths will be up and running.

While the list has been approved, the finalized medications have yet to be made public. It is highly likely that many currently restricted amino acids and even antibiotics will be on the list. It is important to note that some NDs are worried that we may loose the eclectic nature of our field by becoming more "mainstream" with the availability to give "quick fixes" like MD/GPs do. However, most young up and coming naturopaths of the future feel it goes a long way to establishing ourselves in society and it will expand the scope of our profession. Just because we will be able to prescribe new medications doesn't mean that we automatically will or that it will fit the individual case. This is important to keep in mind!! Pharmacology is already apart of every regulated naturopathic school's program and will probably be augmented soon.

Ontario is the 2nd province to get the go ahead to expand their prescribing rights. British Columbia (BC) was already given this awesome opportunity in April of this year. There are several States with regulation for naturopaths (15) some have prescribing rights and some have the ability to perform minor surgery. Two States just joined this growing brigade one of them being Minnesota. Keep in mind: the more states regulated the better. In States that aren't regulated virtually anyone can call themselves a naturopath without legal ramification. This deceived those in their community. However, in States that are regulated you have to have certification from one of the accredited schools in order to call yourself a naturopath. This is to the benefit of the profession and the people we serve. I'm happy to say that at least two States are actively pursuing liscensure as we speak, New York and Illinois. Also, Illinois will soon have an accredited school (to be the 7th in North America!) in Lombard, IL!

Interested in learning more?
CBC News
OAND
CAND

Part VI: Natural potential
Music can be used as a tool by naturopaths because it apparently has a cumulative effect. Encouraging young patients to cultivate a love of intricate music has the potential to prime them for self actualization. The implication for those seeking to increase their IQ is evident. However, on a much more general every day level, music may be explored to help with mood and arousal, and to help balance depression and anxiety. Abraham Maslow defined the parameters needed to reach the ultimate in an individuals personality. Reasoning through the humanist perspective, all individuals have a positive push of inner-directedness that if unimpeded will move us towards our fullest potential and growth. Music can be a powerful guide in our journey for this self actualization. It can aide in this by giving us the tools to perform at our very best in several cognitive tasks, including spatial reasoning. There is also potential to rebuild the right hemisphere of the brain after the effects of trauma.

In the end
Unfortunately, research is severely lacking in research of varying forms of music. It is clear however, that music primes the brain to work harder, work better, increase capacity, regulate mood and arousal, and to perform spatial reasoning and other cognitive tasks. Repetition is key, the more you make use of this phenomenon the more you will get out of it. The earlier in life you begin to utilize this phenomenon the longer it will last and the more you will get out of it. Because the style of Mozart and his contemporaries in a up-tempo, major mode is ideal for performance, it is beneficial to cultivate a love for this style as early in life as possible. However, if that is not the case, more familiar and enjoyable forms of music will have similar or better results as listening to classical music of the like. Learning to play, read, and compose music will further increase your brain's capacity to perform tasks, and memorize. Though hyper-focusing may have the potential to suppress some of your innate creativity and spatial reasoning abilities. However overall, the costs don't outweigh the gains, as you will be more likely to be proficient in both hemispheres of the brain, just  not equally. Women and men may not differ nearly as much as would be expected in perceiving emotion in music. Though women did show a significant advancement over men in certain cognitive functions, spatial reasoning was not one of them. Spatial reasoning abilities among men and women are fairly consistent between the sexes when listening to classical music in both a major or minor mode, but music in the major mode (cheerful) has a more positive effect on cognitive tasks. Cultivating a love of music and thinking about it in both a right brain intuitive mode, and a left brain logical mode will help the individual reach their fullest potential.


Referances

Rauscher, F. H., Shaw, G. L., & Ky, K.N. (1995). Listening to Mozart enhances spatial-temporal reasoning: Towards a neurophsiological basis. Neuroscience Letters, 44-47.

Schellenberg, E. Glen. (2005). Music and Cognitive Abilities. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 14 (6), 317-320.

Brandler, S. & Rammsayer, T.H. (2003). Differences in mental abilities between musicians and non-musicians. Psychology of Music, 31(2), 123-138.

Rauscher, F. H., Shaw, G. L., & Ky, K.N. (1993). Music and spatial task performance. Nature, 365.

Sutton, C. J. C. & Lowis, M. J. (2008). The Effect of Musical Mode on Verbal and Spatial Task Performance. Creativity Research Journal, 20 (4), 420-426.

Campbell, D. (2001, 1997). The Mozart Effect. New York: Quill HaperCollins Publishers.

Leeds, J. (2001). The Power of Sound. Rochester, Vermont: Healing Arts Press.

Jausovec, N., & Habe, K. (2005). The influence of Mozart’s sonata K. 488 on brain activity during performance of spatial rotation and numerical tasks. Brain Topology, 17, 207–218.

Pert, C. (2000). Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind [CD]. Louisville, Colorado: Sounds True, Inc.

Part III: Style
Music's benefits are vast. It can adapt mood, adapt positive thinking, strengthen survival skills, and sympathy (Leeds, 2003). These are among the improvements that music can make on peoples lives. All music genres have significant implications for the mind. Dr. Alfred Tomatis' research on the workings of the inner ear were undoubtedly the precursor for the focus on Mozart's music and spatial reasoning. Tomatis focused on Mozart's music namely the violin concertos numbers 3 and 4 as having the strongest ability to positively effect students capacity to focus and concentrate. Music can have a positive or negative effect on spatial performance tasks. Sutton and Lowis found that when music is sad (often minor in composition) it can make the listener sad, and depressed people show impairment in spatial tasks because depression effects the arousal in the right cerebral hemisphere of the brain which is associated with cognitive spatial processing. Overall, the Sutton-Lowis study showed that cheerful music enhances spatial reasoning more than sad music, and that this is because music elicits and emotional response. They also found that the degree to which and emotional response is elicited is similar in both men and women.

In a 1995 experiment done by Rausher, Shaw, and Ky, their work suggested that listening to a piano sonata composed by Mozart lead to increased spatial reasoning performance. They also found that listening to repetitive music does not aide in spatial reasoning. These findings are in correlation with Shaw's statements, "We suspect that complex music facilitates certain complex neuronal patterns involved in high brain activities like math and chess. By contrast, simple and repetitive music could have the opposite effect." Shaw suggests a possibility that banal music or sounds may have and adverse effect on the mind and brain functions. Just as highly intricate music containing complicated melodies and rhythms have a positive effect on he mind's ability to reason spatially, simple, repetitive, monotonous music may have the opposite effect on the mind's ability to reason spatially. The latter may actually regress the mind's ability, if even for short periods of time.

Age Matters

It is found that the impact music has on spatial reasoning only last from 10 to 15 minutes in adults. This is a temporary effect. However, it can have cumulative effects concurrently. Therefore, the more you make use of this phenomenon the more readily and quicker it will manifest. It is also of note, that the younger the individual is when in a musical environment, the longer the effect has been shown to last (Schellenberg, 2005). It is apparent that music has a cumulative effect because the younger the person is when introduced to music the longer potential they have to hold on to the benefits of this phenomenon. Schellenberg noted that the phenomenon looses its longevity the later in life it begins to be implemented. He also said that the more it is used (even later in life) the greater its magnitude for positive results. Though listening is sufficient to prime the brain for a boost in spatial tasks performance, learning to play the music is significant in perpetuating longer lasting effects (Schellenberg, 2005). In a correlative test of 147 children and 150 undergraduate adults, (using the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children-III, or WISC-III and the Wechsler Adult Intelligences Scale-III, or WAIS-III respectively) Schellenberg concluded that the effects of music on cognitive abilities are greater with more exposure to music regularly and can be long lasting.

To musician or to non-musician
Though differences in certain cognitive functions between musicians and non-musicians exist, the differences between the two in terms of spatial reasoning did not favor the musicians according to Brandler and Rammsayer (2003). Researchers were surprised to find this to be the case, but hold their finding as reliable as these results were consistently shown by four Cattell’s Culture Free Intelligence Test, Scale 3 (CFT) subscales. In explanation, that they warn is "a preliminary, highly speculative, possible explanation ", they suggest that perhaps our thinking of relegating music to the right hemisphere (because music stimulates the right brain more than the left brain) of the brain should be revised. It is certain that highly skilled musicians utilize both the right and left brains to carry out their musical lifestyles. However, the memory aspect of their mind may dominate over the reason part. This is indicative of a diverse array of mental abilities in musicians and contrasted by a stronger yet more base mental ability in non-musicians. Therefore, "early extensive musical training" results in a change to the cortical organization. This augments the left brain functions of the musician, while diminishing the innate musical abilities of the right brain. This is reminiscent of how in Western education, schooling may lead to strengthening the left brain while neglecting the right brain.

Sounds of Sex
Though there were differences between certain cognitive functions between men and women, the differences in spatial reasoning between the two groups was not significant in the Sutton-Lowis experiment. Sutton and Lowis are interested in determining the differences between sexes when they listen to music on both their verbal and spatial reasoning skills. Overall, they tout that music has an ability to increase spatial and verbal reasoning, and their data supports this claim. However, the most significant correlation was found between women and verbal reasoning. Though the other sectors had over all improvement, their amount of improvement were nominal in comparison to the increase found with women in verbal reasoning. Their study is particularly noteworthy because there is a severe lack of research on the differences of how the sexes are effected by music. Sutton and Lowis found that the degree to which an emotional response is elicited is similar in both men and women.

References available in Part VI

Part II: Effects on the brain
Music's uncanny influence on spatial reasoning was one of the key correlations that began the work to develop an understanding of music's effect on the brain. Spatial reasoning functions are located in the right hemisphere of the brain. Spatial reasoning is a function processed and elicited in the right hemisphere of the brain. The right brain is categorized by emotion, id-based thinking, feeling, intuition, impetuousness, and creativity. This hemisphere is often marginalized in Western culture and relegated to dreams in most individuals. The left hemisphere is categorized by logic, reality, mathematics, language, and strategy. Music is also attributed to right brain functions because it stimulates the functions of the right brain more than the left brain.

Music can place the brain in an optimal arousal mode (Schellenberg, 2005). Music can effect emotion (Sutton and Lowis, 2008). This happens on a psychological and physiological level. Much in the same way some narcotics mimic the neuronal patterns of some neurotransmitters such as epinephrine and endorphins, to mimic their pleasurable sensations (Pert, 2000), music effects spatial reasoning by mimicking the same firing pathways neurons undergo when we successfully concentrate and focus (Campbell, 2001, 1997). This is why increased concentrating and focus occurs in close proximity of listening for adults. The younger the individual, the longer the effect last because their brains are at the start of creating familiar firing pathways. In addition, their cells divide more often creating the potential to create more daughter cells with receptors primed to perpetuate the pathway. Explained in part by the idea of association and the Hebbian theory of synaptic activity and efficiency which is often summarized as "the cells that fire together, wire together". Sutton and Lowis suggest that music is a communicator that is adept at communicating emotion. In a 2005 experiment conducted by E. Glenn Schellenberg he found that music effects spatial reasoning in part by arousing the mind of the participant. By putting the brain in an optimal state of arousal, this attributed to increased performance. He also attributed increased performance in spatial reasoning to changes in mood directly linked to the major (cheerful sounding), up tempo Mozart selections. Therefore, arousal primes the brain to do more work, and music works as a exercise to strengthen the brain.

References available in Part VI

Part I: In the beginning
Music is a part of every culture, and yet it is often taken for granted as it is so ingrained in daily life. Music is one of the broadest elements in our world. New genres seem to sprout every day. It is always developing and evolving, ebbing and flowing. There is little doubt as to why it is listed as one of the seven intellectual fields enumerated by Howard Gardner. Scientist and researchers give a thorough explanation of music's link to cognition and spatial reasoning. These works can give anyone a basic working knowledge of how music effects spatial reasoning, and how it may be used for self improvement. Exploring music's effects on spatial reasoning may help unlock a valuable tool for health and healing.

Professor of Education at Harvard University, Howard Gardner listed music and spatial reasoning as two of seven types of intelligence in the 1980s. Spatial reasoning is called various things including spacial intellect and spatial-temporal reasoning, among others. Though differing phrases may attempt to evoke a particular tone, spatial reasoning is at the core of each understanding. Spatial reasoning is involved in manipulating 2-D images into 3-D images with your mind's eye. This may involve physical navigation, mental imagery, hand eye coordination, and spatial relationships. This skill is used by all. However, it is particularly important to engineers, architects, and computer game programmers. From playing video games to planning out how to arrange furniture in an empty room (topography), spatial reasoning is the core component. The degree of an individual's spatial reasoning capacity can be tested for via an IQ test, as it is a component of intelligence. On IQ tests, spatial reasoning is often tested by the individual attempting to recreate a particular sequence of colored blocks. Some IQ test utilized by the following studies include the Stadford-Binet Intelligence Scale, the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children-III ( WISC-III), the Wechsler Adult Intelligences Scale-III (WAIS-III), and the Cattell’s Culture Free Intelligence Test, Scale 3 (CFT). I have reviewed six articles that explore the relationship between music and spatial reasoning.

What's the phenomenon?
It has been found that music, to varying degrees, positively or negatively prime the cells in the brain to perform spatial reasoning tasks (Jausavec and Habe, 2005). An experiment conducted by Rauscher, Shaw and Ky with undergraduate students in the mid 1990s showed that their IQ scores (Stanford-Binet) rose by 8 to 9 points after listening to music composed by Mozart. It was also found that this effect lasted only temporarily, approximately 10 to 15 minutes. This phenomenon was dubbed "The Mozart Effect" (Rauscher et al., 1995). Sutton and Lowis (2008) note that "Rauscher, Shaw, and Ky reported a short-term enhancement in spatial-temporal reasoning following listening to Mozart music". Rauscher conducted an additional experiment in 1998 where he found that certain music increases test subjects' performance, concentration, focus, and spatial reasoning tasks. These results were elicited through a testing format. Rauscher concentrated on the effects of classical music. Don Campbell, author of "The Mozart Effect" credits the music of Mozart and his contemporaries with the ability to "stimulate learning and memory" and "strengthen concentration abilities". Sutton and Lowis found that the phenomenon works without the listener focusing on the music. The emotions elicited by the music act on a subconscious level. The music was not a focal point but rather background music predominately relegated to the preconscious. Furthermore, none of the participants expressed a conscious awareness of the music during their debriefing sessions with the researchers.

Further research (Schellenberg, 2005) has found that music improves social skills, mood, and other cognitive functions in addition to spatial reasoning. This phenomenon is significant and unique because though music is the method, the benefits and improvements extend to non-music related abilities, the results are consistent, and they are most likely to occur by listening or playing music than by other activities. Schellenberg broadened the research substantiated by Rauscher (1993) by noting spatial reasoning and other cognitive ability links to music other than classical. He found that music that is familiar, or enjoyable to the individual often has even greater potential to strengthen these cognitive tasks, with spatial reasoning being at the forefront. To broaden the term, Schellenberg renamed this phenomenon the "arousal-and-mood hypothesis", thus indicating the link between the benefits and the emotional state of the individual. Schellenberg also noted that the emotional state of the individual primes cognitive functions to enhance in ability. Thus, listening to music has the capacity to effect the brain, emotions, and mind set.

References available in Part VI

Juneteenth, June 19th, is one of my favorite occasions. I look forward to it every year. I keep thinking, maybe next year, Google or Yahoo! will have a special design for their logo to spotlight Juneteenth... One day...

For anyone oblivious to the occasion, it marks the most recognized end to slavery. The story goes thus:

The Emancipation Proclamation (Lincoln) was a law abolishing slavery and freeing ALL slaves in ALL of the United States. It was issued on September 22, 1862, and was supposed to be effective as of January 1, 1863. However, that news (and enforcement) didn't quite make it to the poor slaves in Galveston, Texas (and other Eastern Texan localities) until June 19, 1865. Yeah... a whole flippin' 2 and a half years after the law was active. (Those law-breaking, self-righteous, Eastern Texan slave-holders really burn me up!!!) On that day, as the story goes, Union General Granger and troops arrived in Galveston not only to enforce the emancipation of the slaves (I bet they didn't get 2.5 years of back pay... I know!!... efforts should be dedicated to getting their back pay to their ancestors!! I think there's a word for that.....) but to also take over possession of Texas. Juneteenth started being celebrated in Galveston the VERY NEXT YEAR. Strawberry pop anyone.......?

It's interesting that recently the Senate apologized for the first time to United State's African-American descendants for the atrocities of slavery. (They really need to apologize to Africa for the atrocities of the American Slave trade... what? You think pilfering millions of Africa's strongest men and women didn't adversely effect their lives for centuries?) Among the apologizers where Sen. Tom Harkin of Iowa and Sen. Brownback of Kansas.

Oh well, it just a twisted ritual of America. The apology means little to me (it does little except assuage some people's guilt, and give others ammunition to rationalize deplorable points of view), but I know it means something to some people, and for that, I smile at it.

!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY JUNETEENTH 2009!!!!!!!!!
RBG UP!
UHURU
HOTEP!!!
PEACE

The Iranian people are obviously speaking. And not only in Iran, but also with protests near to me in Toronto, Canada.

I love protestors. I was happy to see the people raising awareness of the people, the Tamils, and the military in Sri Lanka. I was even pleasantly surprised when several people walked on to the Gardiner Expressway and shut down traffic. What power protestors have!

Will it just take time for Obama to step up more than just feeling remorse over what happened with the recent Iranian election? John McCain spoke to Congress recently about his dismay with the Obama Admin's stance of inaction. Of not wanting to meddle.

Elections are supposed to represent the voice of the people. But often that is not the case. Where are the groups of equal size, marching for their satisfaction with the President?

The US should begin aide of Iran by giving an ear to the Iranian people. By getting them chance for a collective international voice. The media is so restricted there right now, save images of the Ayatollah. What are the people to do?

When the people do something they have never done before, its because they want change.

change...

I really feel for mothers and fathers like Madeline Primoff, Darlene Ong [1], or even mai Mom and Dad who have felt the need to put an underage child out the car to walk home for misbehavior. I feel for mothers like Primoff who have been JAILED for such action.

First and foremost, DONT MAKE EMPTY THREATS. Do what you say you are going to do, or don't say it. This is the only way threats like "Don't make me pull this car over" are ever actually going to be effective. If you’ve set a history with other things that you do what you say.

This issue has come to light in the news recently because Primoff and her mother were in the car when they put out her 10 and 12 year old daughters for 'acting out'. The mother was trying to teach the girls that if they behave badly, then they will have to suffer in a way that they wont like. Primoff (or her lawyer rather) said that she and her mother dropped the girls off on the street, drove around the block, and when they came back to retrieve them, the older girl was there, but the 10 year old was missing! Apparently, a passerby took the 10 yr old for ice cream and then dropped her off with a police officer. (Thank you passerby for not being a crazy person. I hope Primoff is thanking God for that.) Primoff called to report her daughter missing and when she arrived at the precinct to pick her up, Primoff was arrested and jailed overnight for abandoning the child.

Ok, wow this is 'Get your ass out the car' gone WRONG, terribly, terribly wrong. Could I ever image making my child walk home for bad behavior? HELL YEAH! Would I ever make mai child think that I was going to leave them somewhere they didn't know and where they couldn't get home from... NO! Inducing abandonment issues shouldn't be the goal Mom. ABC News didn't make it clear as to if the girls were dropped off at a place they knew and could possibly get home from.

Factors have to be taken in to consideration to effectively enact ‘Get your ass out the car’. (This tactic was supported by the ‘expert’ on ABC News though she said you should drive alongside the child as they walked.) If you think there's a possibility you would enact this sort of disciplinary action on your child, why wouldn't you have a premeditated game plan?

Factor Q: Number of offending children? There is strength in numbers. I'd be more likely to drop off 4 children than 2.

Factor X: Will the children stay with each other if I drop them off? 'Get your ass out the car and you better not come home without your baby sister or this will seem like a walk in the park!" Obviously Primoff didn't think that one thru. I can't believe her 12 year old let the 10 year old go off on her own. I know families, where even if you are fighting, the parents have set up a system whereas the older siblings know they are responsible for the younger ones. I mean lets keep in mind, 12 is babysitting age!

Factor Y: What’s the weather like? What time of day is it? Are the children dressed appropriately?

Factor Z: Do the kids know the area? Do you as a parent know the area? How long will it take them to get home or to their destination? In mai childhood neighborhood I could ride mai bike to the park that was 15min away. I could've walked from there if I was interested in exercising. So dropping a 12 yr old there in daylight to walk home could be totally appropriate behavior. Also, I grew up in a rural country community, I wouldn’t drop a kid off on Skid Row in LA even if it was a short 45min walk to mai front door.

I think making children walk home can be a useful tool if it’s not used in the heat of the moment. That’s where this situation went wrong. If Primoff would have thought out the situation she probably wouldn't be in such hot water. I dont disagree with the practice totally, but I do think the way Primoff went about it was irresponsible. I mean, a passerby picked her child up! Thank God the ice cream wasn't drugged and she was delivered to an officer... but it could have just as easily gone another way. 'Get your ass out the car and walk home’ can only be enacted when the risks have been calculated and its used as a teaching and discipline method not as an unthought about whim the parent goes on. Each situation is different, so assess your situation before you enact this, but there IS a place for it. If they piss you off 25 miles from home, wait till you are 4 miles from home, and make em walk if the factors line up. ‘That’s right Billy, you’re ass was made for walkin’, so that just what your bad ass is gonna do. I love you, see you when you get home’



1. ABC News

Men and women ARE different, and how we interact with the opposite sex is significant, and depicted about how we view our roles in society. I just had an interesting conversation with two 20-something women* about male/female dynamics in budding relationships. Laney's been married one year, Mona's been dating a guy for one month, and me, married for 5 years.

Mona is anxious to know if her relationship has reached exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend status, but isn't sure about how to find out. She's considering having a friend ask the guy, in a round-a-bout way. Laney advises to 'hold off' and let the guy take the initiative in that respect. Laney finds it best to wait for men to say 'I love you' first because ‘men like to do things like that’. She believes woman can be assertive without being dominant, and that not letting the man take the initiative is usurping his dominance. She says women can be assertive by ‘getting what they want’ without having to have a discussion. She has a girlfriend who's been wanting to say she loves her guy since a few months into their relationship, but has been waiting for 3 years for him to say it first, and therefore doesn't quite know where their relationship stands. I say, if you are in a relationship (where you desire longevity), ask questions flat out, clearly, and as they arise. I don’t see a place for poor communication and inhibition in a healthy adult relationship. I see finding a back-door way of talking about things with your partner so that he feels more like the 'direction-setter' as a form of playing games that everyone should avoid. I am a big believer and appreciator of feminine wiles, but I like to ‘get what I want’ by talking it out.

I'm sure part of my POV comes from my distaste for men who shy away from assertive women. Is being 'too domineering' a concern that women in fledgling relationships ?All men are different, as are situations and relationships. Most would agree that there are times when the woman should say 'I love you' first and such. But the true question is: Is there ANY circumstance where a woman who questions the status of her relationship should wait for the man to establish it before asking questions? Is she gonna 'run off' the potential love of her life? Should you ever stay silent from your partner when you have questions? Should you play 'harmless' covert games to find out what you need to know?

I feel like NOT asking questions as they arise is putting your life on hold. If he wants to be exclusive and so do you, fine; but if he doesn't, and you don’t find out, then you are going to turn down other dating opportunities. How's that fair?

*Names have been changed to protect Mai

ProgressiveU: http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/mai

Hood Doctors: http://thehooddoctors.ning.com/profiles/blog/list?user=3ld643w6vk6z9

Blogger: http://mrsmai.blogspot.com/

Wordpress: http://maiweblog.wordpress.com/